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Lessons from Claude Silver: FAQ
Q: What does it mean to be yourself at work according to Claude Silver?
A: Being yourself at work means gradually sharing genuine aspects of your personality, values, and experiences in a way that builds trust and connection, without oversharing or disregarding the cultural norms of your organization.
Q: How does psychological safety connect to business performance?
A: Organizations with high psychological safety experience lower attrition, more innovation, stronger collaboration, and reduced recruitment costs. Employees who feel safe are more productive and more committed to organizational goals.
Q: What is Claude Silver's definition of empathy in leadership?
A: Claude Silver defines empathy as acknowledging another person's experience without absorbing it. It is being present and supportive while maintaining your own boundaries, described as "riding shotgun" rather than taking over.
Why Hiding Who You Are at Work Is Costing You More Than You Think
Most of us have done it. You walk into the office, or you open your laptop, and somewhere between the commute and the first meeting, you put a version of yourself away. The version that had cereal spilled all over the floor this morning. The version that cried at a movie last night and has no idea what the answer is but is terrified to say so.
Claude Silver has watched this happen for 30 years. As the world's first Chief Heart Officer at VaynerX, the global communications holding company led by Gary Vaynerchuk, she has spent her career studying what happens when people bring their real selves to work, and what it costs them when they don't.
Her new book, Be Yourself at Work: The Groundbreaking Power of Showing Up, Standing Out, and Leading from the Heart, is the distilled version of that experience. And her central argument is hard to ignore. When people feel they have to hide who they are at work, everyone loses. The individual loses their sense of belonging. The team loses their contribution. And the organization loses the performance, retention, and innovation it is working so hard to generate.
McKinsey research confirms that 89% of employees value psychological safety and believe employers have a responsibility to create it. The ROI is measurable and Claude makes that case with conviction.
The Small Steps That Build Authentic Presence at Work
Claude is not asking anyone to walk into Monday morning and tell their entire team about their therapy. That's not what being yourself at work means. Her approach is slower, safer, and far more sustainable.
"I'm an advocate of dipping your toe in the water," she explains . "Find those parts of yourself, little parts that can connect with someone at work."
It starts with noticing what you have in common with the people around you. You both love a certain show. You both have kids doing school drop-off in the morning. You're both going to the same concert next month. These are not trivial connections. They are the foundation of psychological safety, and psychological safety is what makes everything else possible.
Here's what the research and Claude's experience confirm:
- Less attrition: People stay at companies where they feel safe and seen
- More innovation: Employees who feel psychologically safe are more likely to share ideas and take creative risks
- Lower recruitment costs: Word-of-mouth hiring increases when culture is genuinely good
- Stronger performance: People work harder for leaders they believe care about their growth
The important nuance Claude adds is around culture fit. If the culture you're in is toxic, the advice changes. And if the culture is collaborative and safe, the cost of not showing up is higher than the risk of being seen.
Self-Awareness Is the Foundation. Here Is How to Build It
Claude is direct about this. Nothing else she talks about matters if a person hasn't started the journey of self-awareness. It is the foundation of authentic leadership, healthy boundaries, meaningful connection, and everything in between.
Her starting point is simpler than most people expect. "What do you feel? When someone interrupts you three times in a row, do you get frustrated? Do you get sad? Do you care? Start there."
For many professionals, particularly those who grew up being told to keep emotions out of the workplace, this is genuinely difficult. Claude's recommendation is the same one she discovered for herself. Get curious about your emotions the way you would about any other skill you want to develop. She even recommends the Pixar film Inside Out as a surprisingly effective way to reconnect with what emotional awareness looks and feels like in practice.
From there, she suggests asking bigger questions:
- What are your values? Not the ones on a company poster. Yours.
- What lights you up? Find at least one thing that genuinely energizes you in your work.
- Who do you admire and why? The answers often reveal what you want and don't yet have.
- How do you feel in specific situations? Start tracking patterns instead of pushing past them.
This kind of inner work is the engine of performance and Claude's 30 years of managing people backs this up. The employees who know themselves perform better, communicate better, and recover from setbacks faster.
Empathy and Accountability Are Not Opposites
One of the most common objections Claude hears from leaders is the idea that empathy undermines accountability. If you care too much about how people feel, the thinking goes, you can't hold them to results.
Claude's response to this is worth sitting with: "I don't know how being unkind or not caring about someone will drive results."
Her framework separates empathy as a feeling from compassion and accountability as actions. Empathy is noticing that someone is struggling. Compassion is saying, "I see you, and I believe in you." Accountability is then saying, "And here is what I need from you, and here is how I'm going to help you get there."
These three things do not conflict. In fact, the leaders who combine them consistently see better outcomes. When people feel seen and valued, they bring more commitment. When they trust that their leader has their growth in mind, they tolerate honest feedback instead of shutting down.
There is a critical boundary in this framework too, one Claude learned the hard way as a self-described recovering codependent. Taking on someone else's problems is not empathy. It's losing yourself. True empathy means riding shotgun, not climbing into the driver's seat and taking over. You stay present and available without absorbing their struggle.
"I know where I start and stop," she says. "If I take on your stuff, I'm saturated. And then I can't help anyone."
"Every time you choose to show up as you, you strengthen the voice inside of you that says, I belong here. I'm worthy of being here. I can take up space here." -- Claude Silver
The Kind of Leader Your Team Actually Needs You to Be
The word that runs through this entire conversation is intention. Not perfection. Claude's definition of leadership is clear, your job is to draw the map, not to know every road. You connect people to answers. You walk with them through uncertainty and model the behavior you want to see, including the small human moments like mentioning you were late because of school drop-off, or acknowledging that the world feels heavy right now.
These micro-moments build culture. Not all-hands meetings. Not values documents. The hallway high-five. The coffee check-in. The text to someone you haven't spoken to in months.
Open your phone, scroll through your contacts, find three people you haven't reached out to in a while, and send them a simple text. It takes three seconds. It costs nothing. And it is exactly the kind of intentional connection that changes workplaces, and people, from the inside out.
Ready to be yourself at work?
- To get practical tools and actionable tips that will jumpstart your journey, download the Kick Starter Booklet here.
- Join the newsletter to be notified when a new episode is ready for you to listen and get every Kick Starter Booklet for all future episodes.
- And if you’re looking to elevate your entire C-Suite leadership team, learn how Craig Dowden can help your leaders perform at their highest-level visit https://www.craigdowden.com/executive-mastermind
- For a deeper dive, listen to the full-length episode of the Do Good to Lead Well podcast featuring Claude Silver:
Did you like this article on being yourself at work? Does it help you become a better leader? Then check out these articles to help hone those skills even further:
- Stop Being Overlooked: How to Build Unforgettable Presence: Proven Strategies for Introverts, Leaders, and Anyone Who Wants to Stop Being Overlooked with Lorraine K. Lee
- Stop Playing It Safe: How to Stop Playing It Safe and Lead at Your Full Potential: Insights from Dianna Fioravanti
- Lead with Authentic Integrity: How to Lead with Authentic Integrity: Lessons from a Financial Markets CEO with Laura Paglia
- Ethical Leadership: The Integrity Gap: How Good People Make Bad Decisions (And How to Prevent It) with Tom Hardin
- Creating Inclusive Workplaces: Beyond DEI: The Practical Fairness Framework for Creating Inclusive Workplaces That Actually Work with Lily Zheng
- Psychological Safety and Belonging: Building Emotionally Intelligent Teams: The Science-Backed Framework for Psychological Safety and Belonging with Vanessa Druskat
- Make Better Decisions: How to Make Better Decisions When Everything Feels Uncertain
- Anxiety: Mastering Social Anxiety: Evidence-Based Strategies for Leaders and Professionals
- Build Resilient Organizations: Culture Design: How to Build Resilient Organizations with Intentional Values
- Unlearning Silence: What to do When Your Best People Are Not Speaking Up with Elaine Lin Hering
- Why Feeling for Others Is Making Your Leadership Less Effective: The Empathy Paradox
Craig Dowden
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