_{In this episode of Do Good to Lead Well, host Craig Dowden explores the hidden power of self-disclosure at work, revealing when sharing, venting, and advice truly help (or hurt) your team's energy and trust. Tune in for real stories, actionable strategies, and research-backed steps to create a resilient, connected workplace. Perfect for leaders who want to show up with more intention and spark lasting positive change.}

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Introduction: Why Self-Disclosure and Connection Matter in Positive Leadership

If you're a leader hungry for real, research-backed strategies to maximize your impact, you’re in the right place. In the fast-changing world of business, one skill has quietly risen to the top for modern leaders: mastering the art of sharing and connection. But how much should you share at work? When is venting helpful, and when does it backfire? And, most importantly, how does your approach to these tricky conversations impact emotional wellbeing, trust, and team cohesion?

Today, we'll dig into breakthrough emotion research to explore how sharing at work, handled skillfully, transforms teams and supercharges positive leadership.

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1. The Surprising Power of How (and Why) We Share at Work

Recent research published in the Journal of Emotion reveals something every manager and team member should know: The KIND of information shared and the REASON for sharing makes all the difference in team energy and workplace wellbeing.

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The ‘Why’ Behind Workplace Sharing

Ever find yourself wondering, “Am I oversharing? Should I open up about this challenge, or just keep it to myself?” You’re not alone. Many leaders and employees wrestle with how much to disclose, especially in virtual or hybrid workplaces, where connection can feel both more crucial and more fragile.

Here’s what the data says:

• Sharing positive news (big wins or personal growth) is a game-changer: it significantly boosts emotional wellbeing, injects energy into the team, builds stronger perceived connections, and actually helps reduce rumination (that endless overthinking that zaps our joy at work).
• Sharing negative experiences, meanwhile, tends to go the other way. While it’s tempting to vent for relief, studies show it often drags down wellbeing, zaps your energy, and makes you dwell on problems even more.

But it’s not just WHAT you share, it’s WHY you do it. When your primary motivation is connection (rather than seeking advice or just venting), the results are markedly better. Your sense of belonging, energy, and even job satisfaction go up.

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2. The Pitfalls of Venting: Why Good Intentions Aren’t Always Enough

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Let’s talk about venting, a hot topic in every organization. You’ve probably heard it’s healthy to let off steam. But is it really helpful at work? The research (and years of coaching with leaders) paint a clearer, more nuanced picture.

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“Venting Is Like Pouring Gasoline on a Fire”

There's an old myth that venting is therapeutic, that it “lets off steam” and keeps us from exploding later. In reality, study after study (including this latest research) shows it often amplifies negative emotions, rather than resolving them. Rumination increases, energy plummets, and even the listener can get dragged down into the spiral. Instead of deepening relationships or building trust, constant venting can strain workplace bonds and leave everyone feeling depleted.

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“Venting tends to be not very effective. It creates a lot more negative energy than it solves.” _{-Craig Dowden}

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‍Advice vs. Support: Avoiding the Mismatch Trap

Another revelation from the research is how easily intentions can get crossed in conversation. Maybe you’re just looking to connect, but your colleague thinks you’re seeking advice, or vice versa. The impact? When there’s a mismatch (the listener offers advice when you just need support, or vice versa), negative feelings skyrocket. Relationships suffer, trust erodes, and long-term collaboration can be undermined completely.

Pro-Tip: As both a sharer and a listener, clarify your motivation. If you’re sharing just to vent, say so. If you want advice, be explicit: “I’d love your thoughts, what would you do?” And if you’re not sure what your teammate wants, ask! Genuine curiosity avoids misunderstandings and fosters a culture of open, intentional communication.

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3. Building Intentional Conversations: Practical Steps for Leaders and Teams. A Step-by-Step Guide

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1. Be Clear About Your Motivation

Before you share, ask yourself: Am I seeking connection, advice, or just a safe space to express my feelings? By clarifying your own intention, you set the conversation up for success.

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2. Communicate Your Goal to the Listener

Start conversations with phrases like:

• “I’m not looking for advice right now, just someone to listen.”
• “I’d appreciate your take on this, what suggestions do you have?”

Being explicit about your needs is a game-changer for trust and collaboration.

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3. As the Listener, Always Ask

If someone comes to you to share, and you’re unsure what they want, ask openly:

• “How can I best show up for you right now?”
• “Are you hoping for advice, or just a sounding board?”

This signals respect and helps you give exactly the support that’s needed.

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The Power of Mirroring in Workplace Relationships

Another fascinating insight: when the support you receive matches your motivation, positive outcomes explode. When it doesn’t, especially if you get less engagement than you need, the negative results are even more pronounced.

Intentional conversations, where both parties know what the other is seeking, unlock feelings of trust, psychological safety, and high-performance collaboration.

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4. Bringing It All Together: Transforming Team Culture for Lasting Impact

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The Modern Workplace Needs More Than Good Intentions

It’s clear: in today’s workplace, leadership isn’t just about strategy or smarts. It’s about understanding how human connection shapes everything, wellbeing, resilience, innovation, and retention. Leaders who cultivate intentional, transparent conversations build the kind of teams that thrive, in good times and especially in challenging ones.

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Real-World Applications:‍

• Model explicit sharing: Start your own meetings and feedback sessions by stating your intentions up front. You’ll set the tone for others to do the same.
• Train your team to ask clarifying questions. Make it the norm to check in on each other’s needs before offering advice, feedback, or solutions.
• Encourage sharing positive news: Make space for team wins, gratitude, and “shout-outs” in every gathering, you’ll be surprised at the ripple effect on morale.

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When leaders prioritize psychological safety through intentional sharing, teams experience:‍

• Greater emotional wellbeing and resilience
• Stronger trust and connection
• More creative problem-solving
• Lower levels of negative rumination and energy drain

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Your words and approach matter more than you think. The next time you’re about to share (or listen), pause and ask yourself: What’s my real goal here, and have I made it clear?

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Leading with Intention: Your Next Conversation Starts Now

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Ready to become the kind of leader and colleague who sparks real connection? The secret lies in simple acts of clarity: understanding why you’re sharing, stating it openly, and always approaching conversations with curiosity. Whether you’re leading a global team or mentoring a new employee, these principles create a flywheel of trust, wellbeing, and performance.

Start your next conversation by being just a bit more explicit. Celebrate a colleague’s win. Listen without rushing to “fix” things. And when in doubt, ask what they need.

As revealed in the research and echoed in the authentic, conversational style found throughout Craig Dowden’s best leadership content, these everyday – but powerful – acts are where the science and art of positive leadership truly intersect.

Become the leader who helps others thrive. Show up with intention. Your team (and your own wellbeing) will thank you.

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Ready to take Sharing at Work to the next level?

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• To get practical tools and actionable tips that will jumpstart your journey, download the Sharing at Work Kick Starter Booklet here.
  
  
• Join the newsletter to be notified when a new episode is ready for you to listen and get every Kick Starter Booklet for all future episodes.
  
  
• And if you’re looking to elevate your entire C-Suite leadership team, learn how Craig Dowden can help your leaders perform at their highest-level visit https://www.craigdowden.com/executive-mastermind
  
  
• For a deeper dive, listen to the full-length episode of the Do Good to Lead Well podcast featuring Wes Adams & Tamara Myles:
  
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• Positive Leadership for Innovation and Resilience with Jason Tham: Leading with Authenticity, Agility, and Purpose in a Fast-Changing World‍
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