_{In this solo episode, Craig Dowden shares real strategies for maintaining holiday magic without the burnout. From disconnecting fully to saying no confidently, discover how to protect your energy, strengthen relationships, and give the most valuable gift, your undivided attention.}

‍

The Hidden Cost of Holiday Overwhelm

Holiday season stress has become so normalized that we accept overwhelm as part of the season. Yet the data tells a different story. Research from the American Institute of Stress shows that holiday burnout stems from our inability to say no, set boundaries, and truly disconnect. We're physically present but mentally elsewhere. This isn't the way it was meant to be.

‍

I address this tension in this episode of Do Good to Lead Well. Drawing from conversations with executive coaching clients, keynote audiences, and organizational consulting engagements, I explore a provocative question, How do we maintain the magic of the holidays without getting swept up in the overwhelm?

The Research Behind Holiday Connection

What makes the holidays meaningful is the quality of human connection. This insight comes from Harvard's 80-year study on happiness, a longitudinal research project that followed individuals across their entire lives. The study found that relationships are everything and are the key to a meaningful life.

‍

As Dr. Robert Waldinger, who leads this research, has noted in past interviews, the more we share ourselves with each other, the more we benefit and the more they benefit. This is measurable psychology. The study shows that strong relationships keep people happy and healthy, while loneliness literally shortens lives.

‍

Yet during the season designed explicitly for connection, we're more distracted and less present than ever. We bring our phones to family dinners. We check work email between conversations. We're physically present but mentally scattered. And the research finds that phone usage around partners predicts lower relationship satisfaction, greater depression, and reduced life satisfaction. The holidays offer us permission to pause the relentless pace. But we have to claim it intentionally.

‍

Strategy 1: Disconnect Fully From Work (Yes, All the Way)

The first place holiday magic dies is when we say we're "on holiday" but we're still mentally tethered to the office. I hear this constantly from my executive coaching clients. The unrelenting, accelerating pace is the top complaint. When November arrives and time off is supposedly here, most people don't actually disconnect. They're semi-present, there in body but plugged in digitally.

‍

Truly taking time to recharge is important because otherwise the time away doesn't restore you. It doesn't assist you the way it could. You come back to January just as drained as you left. Full disconnection is about protecting the restoration process itself.

‍

What true disconnection looks like:

‍

• No email checking, even once daily
• No "quick work computer reviews"
• No "just checking if anything urgent came in"
• Putting your phone in another room during family time
• Setting an out-of-office message that's specific: "I'm fully unplugged until [date]"

‍

The psychological shift is real. Your brain needs to move out of constant-alert mode. Your nervous system needs to downregulate. That only happens with actual disconnection, not partial engagement. When you commit fully, you come back to 2026 recharged instead of moderately less exhausted.

‍

Strategy 2: Be Mindful of Conversational Topics

The world we live in right now feels divided and reactive. Strong emotions follow strong opinions, and the holidays bring families, and different perspectives, together around the table.

‍

One of the most powerful moves you can make is to be intentional about what topics you choose to discuss. You don't have to avoid difficult subjects entirely, but you can curate the conversation landscape.

‍

What this means in practice:

‍

• Before family gatherings, decide in advance: What topics energize you? What topics drain or inflame?
• Actively choose lighter subjects that create connection rather than friction
• If a conversation does get heated, step in early: "I notice this is getting intense. Maybe we switch to something else?"
• Remember the purpose: you're here to enjoy time together, not to change minds or win debates

‍

The goal isn't to suppress authenticity. It's to protect the time and space for genuine human connection. There will be plenty of time in January to debate politics or controversial issues. The holidays are a finite window for simply being together.

‍

Strategy 3: Master the Art of Saying No

One of the most liberating leadership skills is learning to say no. And the holiday season is the perfect training ground. Commitments pile up and your family wants you to volunteer to host a family dinner. Your friends want you at that party. Your extended family expects you at three different celebrations. Very quickly, you're overscheduled, racing between events, and showing up depleted instead of present.

‍

When we say yes when we mean no, we create resentment. We show up not as our best selves. We bring tired, frustrated energy to the very people we meant to honor. There's a book I recommend to many people: The Power of a Positive No. It's worth reading because saying no is actually an act of self-respect and respect for others. If you say yes to everything, you're saying yes to stress, resentment and to showing up less than fully present. That's not a gift to anyone.

‍

How to say no effectively:

‍

• Be direct and kind: "I appreciate the invitation. I'm not able to make this work this year."
• Don't over-explain or apologize
• Offer a genuine alternative if one exists
• Remember: protecting your energy protects everyone around you

‍

When you're strategic about where you spend your time and energy, you actually show up better. You're present. You're engaged. You give people your best self instead of the leftover pieces of yourself.

‍

Strategy 4: Let Go of Perfectionism

We're not stressed about the holidays themselves. We're stressed about making the holidays perfect. During the holidays perfectionism is a setup for disappointment. Because perfectionism isn't actually possible. And more importantly, it's not what people remember. People remember how you made them feel. My research-backed perspective is direct. Focus on creating an environment where you can connect with people you care about.

‍

When you release perfectionism, something shifts. You become more relaxed. People feel it. Conversations flow more naturally. Connection deepens. Ironically, what you were chasing (a perfect event that brings people together) actually happens more easily when you stop demanding perfection. A simple, relaxed dinner where everyone's comfortable beats a flawless meal where the host is stressed and distracted every single time.

‍

Strategy 5: Prioritize Experiences Over Things (And Build Rituals)

There's powerful research around the psychology of gift-giving, it talks about how experiences create more lasting value than material possessions. Experiences have an immediate psychological, physiological, and emotional impact. You benefit from them in the moment. And you also benefit from them long after. The memory holds. The deepened connection persists. The research shows experiences strengthen trust, deepen bonds, and create lasting psychological benefits.

‍

More than that, experiences often become rituals, the things families do together year after year. These rituals signal care. They become anchoring points in family identity. They create meaning.

‍

"This year, we tried making cookies together" or "We started this game that we play every holiday" or "We did this experience as a family", these become the things people talk about for years.

‍

The Most Powerful Gift: Your Undivided Attention

In a world constantly battling for your attention, what's the most powerful and personal gift you could give someone? It's your full, undivided attention. Not your phone, sitting on the table just out of view (which studies show undermines trust even if you don't use it). Not your mind, half-engaged while checking notifications. Your presence. Your genuine focus. Your willingness to sit with someone, experience something with them, and be fully there.

‍

The research is stark: just by having phones out in view around people undermines trust and quality of connection. But when phones are put away? When you're fully present? That's when magic happens.

‍

What's the gift people really want? They want to know they matter enough for you to set everything else aside. They want to feel seen and heard and valued. They want your attention. In a time of extreme distraction, that's actually radical.

‍

Your 2026 Opportunity

As you head into this holiday season, be intentional. You do have choices about where your energy goes. You do have control over what you say yes to. You can protect space for rest. You can put the phone away. You can let go of perfection.

‍

You'll actually enjoy the holidays and come back to 2026 restored, not depleted. And you'll have given the people you care about the most valuable thing you have, yourself. That's the real magic of the season.

‍

Ready to Reclaim the Holiday Magic?

‍

• To get practical tools and actionable tips that will jumpstart your journey, download the Beat Burnout and Build Real Connection Kick Starter Booklet here.
  
  
• Join the newsletter to be notified when a new episode is ready for you to listen and get every Kick Starter Booklet for all future episodes.
  
  
• And if you’re looking to elevate your entire C-Suite leadership team, learn how Craig Dowden can help your leaders perform at their highest-level visit https://www.craigdowden.com/executive-mastermind
  
  
• For a deeper dive, listen to the full-length episode of the Do Good to Lead Well podcast featuring Wes Adams & Tamara Myles:
  
  • Spotify
  • Apple Podcasts

‍

Did you like this article on the state of Ai therapy in organizations? Does it help you become a better leader? Then check out these articles to help hone those skills even further:

‍

• Hospitality Leadership: How Hospitality Leadership Transforms Teams and Drives Business Results with Taylor Scott
• Transform Average Teams into Extraordinary Ones: Teamship Over Leadership: The 10 Shifts That Transform Average Teams into Extraordinary Ones with Keith Ferrazzi
• Understanding Yourself: Self-Awareness in Leadership: Why Understanding Yourself Is the Non-Negotiable Foundation of Sustainable Success with Margaret Andrews
• Empathy Fatigue: How to Protect Against Empathy Fatigue: Essential Strategies for Leaders Facing Emotional Burnout with Craig Dowden
• Build Learning Organizations with Andrew Lo: How to Build Learning Organizations That Drive Innovation: Andrew Lo's Leadership Framework for Empowerment and Accountability
• Employee Wellbeing Drives Better Business Results with Mark C. Crowley: Why Employee Wellbeing Drives Better Business Results Than Engagement Ever Could with Mark Crowley
• ‍Feedback That Drives Growth with Dr. Michael Nevarez: How to Give Feedback That Drives Growth Without Triggering Defensiveness: A Psychiatrist's Evidence-Based Approach with Dr. Michael Nevarez
• Learning to Love Midlife with Chip Conley: Learning to Love Midlife: Why Life Gets Better with Age and How to Navigate Transformation
• ‍Unlock Your Creative Potential with Zorana Pringle: How to Unlock Your Creative Potential: Science-Based Strategies to Make Better Decisions and Turn Ideas into Action with Zorana Pringle
• Purpose-Driven Leadership with Lindsay Dodd: How Purpose-Driven Leadership Builds Award-Winning Cultures: Lindsay Dodd's Values-First Approach
• Sharing at Work with Craig Dowden: The Science of Sharing at Work: Leadership Lessons for Better Connection, Trust, and Wellbeing

‍